3 Men on Embracing Self-Care in Lockdown

Typically, self-care has been about one thing: yourself. It’s a detoxifying clay mask swiped on before a night out; a long bubble bath with a good book and your phone on Airplane mode; trying out a new diet to fine-tune how your body feels well below the surface. But for men who’ve been discovering self-care practices during quarantine, it has been just as much about those around them—and navigating the changes lockdown has brought to their communities—as it has any skincare product or hair care routine.  

“Everything I did before has been tossed out the window,” says Just Lunning, a games and entertainment writer in New York City. “My self-care has transformed into regular attempts to escape isolation.” 

Lunning says his lockdown self-care involves two Zoom calls per week with friends and going for runs in a local park. “Before quarantine, running outside scared me. What if I ran too fast and accidentally knocked somebody over?” he says. “Now I'm excited to just see traces of other people. The footprints left in the soil by those who ran before me or wisps of another person zooming by me. Even if I don't talk to other runners, I'm just happy to know I'm not alone.” 

It’s a paradigm shift for those of us who grew up on the beauty industry’s idea of bettering yourself for yourself; and no one needs to be told that male consumers were often left out of that conversation altogether. “I firmly believe there's a stigma against men in American society practicing any type of self-care, from skin, to wellness, yoga, makeup, etcetera—that it rips them off from their masculinity,” says Rodrigo Robles, a content creator based in Arizona.

That said, Robles notes that “great beauty brands have curated a small men's gateway,” clocking F. Miller Skincare, Tata Harper, Youth To The People, and Drunk Elephant. “What helps me de-stress myself is to make things a routine. It's something that's keeping me sane; getting up in the morning, making a cup of matcha (I'm trying to replace coffee), a run, making a healthy lunch, and spoiling my roommate and I with a heavy dinner,” he says. “[And] wine, lots of wine. Just the little things that make you happy.”

Jorge Duarte, a credit and political risk analyst in Washington D.C., echoes the need of having something to look forward to. “Last March, April, when things were looking pretty grim, I decided that I’m not cutting my hair or shaving my face until I get the vaccine. I always kept my hair pretty short—you know, classic guy haircut,” he says. “Since then I’ve just let it go. I haven’t had a haircut in like a year. This is a means of a transformation to look forward to, something refreshing, and through that I’ve actually had to learn a lot about hair and hair care.” 

“My self-care has transformed into regular attempts to escape isolation.”

Duarte says he went from nothing—”I didn’t even shampoo or condition my hair”—to finding and embracing a curly hair routine, though that only scratches the surface of what self-care this year has meant to him. “It’s allowing myself wiggle room to not have good days and just accepting that on all days; that what you’re going through is unprecedented,” he explains. “Then also, taking care of other people around me, that’s definitely my love language. Making sure my parents are okay, making sure I call my grandparents more than I did before, and making sure they have stuff to do. I’ll send them, like, puzzles and books and distractions, you know? To make sure that everybody around me is okay.” 

“I think my self-care is about allowing me to become something I'm currently not,” adds Lunning. “Pre-pandemic, I wanted to have the appeal of a physically attractive person, while taking connection for granted. Now, I care less about the beauty elements and simply want to feel connected again.”